Tuesday, August 26, 2008




Can you spot the Anti-Christ in the above photo? Hint: it isn't the one with the nice threads and cool hair. It's the other one. Yeah, turns out there is an Anti-Christ and his name is SIMON REID. We were "together" (I use the term loosely) nearly two months to the day: from June 13, 2008 to August 10, 2008. This man declared his undying love for me on our second date. On our third date he said "you won't be my girlfriend for long, you know. I'm the marrying kind." After that he told me to start looking for a wedding gown suitable for a ceremony on the beach. I swallowed ALL of this because a.) I am a total moron and b.) SIMON REID is (sigh), well...he's British. I know. Blame the impish lads I drooled over at age 8 on The Adventures of Black Beauty and (later) Duran Duran and their ilk. I hold them responsible for corrupting my impressionable little psyche. But I digress.

The demise of our relationship happened thusly: SIMON REID disappeared on August 7. I was frantic for three days, wondering what the fuck was going on. Then on the afternoon of August 10 I got a call from (are you ready for this? Cause it's good) his WIFE. Yup. SIMON REID is not only an evil lying bastard, he is a MARRIED evil lying bastard. So basically the only thing he told me that turned out to be true is that he is indeed the marrying kind.

According to his wife, I ain't the first. During our phone call of August 10, she informed me (I was mostly too shocked to speak) that I am but one in a long parade of girlfriends he has had since they married seven years ago.

Among the many lies that SIMON REID told me, these are the biggest ones: he was buying a cottage outside Brighton for us to stay in when we visited his family in England, the house his construction company is fixing up in St. Paul was to be ours when it was finished, he was going to buy me a Mini-Cooper for a wedding present, and a lie that took the form of a suggestive query on the occasion of our third date: "One question for you--gold or platinum?"

There are a few good things that came out of this joke of a relationship. One, he took me to Victoria's Secret and bought me $500 worth of lingerie (see receipt below).


So while I feel like complete mug, at least I am wearing fantastic underwear. He also bought me a new TV, a bunch of meals, drinks, coffees, the dress I am wearing in the photo at the beginning of this post, and a little playhouse for my cats. Another positive thing SIMON REID did was pay my July rent. He also told me he would pay my August and September rent (we were going to move in together in October. Isn't that funny? I bet his wife would laugh really hard if she heard that one), but he took off before giving it to me. So basically he owes me two months rent. We had a verbal agreement--and I could probably get any lawyer off a billboard in the 'hood to concur.

The final positive SIMON REID did for me was to give me a chance to warn the citizens of the Twin Cities and--hell, the entire world--to watch out for this douche. If you see him, give him a good punch in the crotch for me, and, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT believe anything that comes out of his mouth. If he tells you 2 + 2 = 4, check his facts.

By the way, don't give me any of that sexist "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" nonsense. This has nothing to do with being a woman. I am a Leo, and Leos are all about loyalty. We are sort of like the Mob Bosses of the zodiac. Be good to us and we'll take a bullet for you. Screw us over and it's your ass. I am also a writer, and there's a great quote I once read (I have no idea who said it) that goes something like "When a writer is born into a family, that family is doomed." The same goes double for a writer's exes.

I have not heard from SIMON REID since he disappeared on August 7, and I am confident that I never will again. The man is a coward, plain and simple. He also knows I am now aware of his marital status and what a sad, sad liar he is and is too afraid to show his face. He has not called, texted, emailed, anything.

Fine, whatever. There is nothing I can do to change what he did to me or how I am feeling about it right now. I just have to feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore (as Teri Garr said in Tootsie).

I can also take comfort in these words of wisdom from the esteemed poet Bono: Instant karma's gonna get him, if I don't get him first.

I know this much is true.

Introducing my new book:
Thanks, That Was Fun


A kinda sorta semi-autobiographical novel
Rather funny, a little sad, definitely sordid
Available now on Kindle
Not a Kindle user? Buy it here.

54 comments:

Q said...

Wow! I am so sorry that you ran into that guy! On behalf of good men (married or otherwise) everywhere I apologize for the douche-baggery of some of us!

Q

andiepants said...

Cheers Q.
I like your blog, btw.

Anonymous said...

You're not the only one that was told in an instant he loved them. Karma will get him in the end.

andiepants said...

You know the really awesome thing? If you google "Simon Reid" and "asshole" this post comes up. HA!

Jo said...

I've just been done over by Simon Reid too. Unfortunately I didn't get any sexy underwear but he got £15000 english pounds from me. I've seen your photo - it's on the wall in the cabin he 'rented' at my house in sunny South West England. I've also been speaking with another lady who was 'loved' by Simon. She too had been made to feel loved in 2 days. It took me longer as I'm the 'needy' type. He chooses types for sex and types for money. It seems I was the money type. He's well and truly sown me up and I have to give my statement to the police this afternoon. He is a long known criminal here in England. The stories, you wouldn't believe. Please reply and I'll give you my email address.

ladytruth said...

I read your story on PLFM and I just had to come over to your blog to tell you this: I hope his balls rot off wherever he is right now. I also have a soft spot for a British accent, but after this I might just think twice! Really sorry for what you must be feeling right now.

Jessickaboop said...

Simon Reid? That's funny, my mum's ex husbands name is Richard Reid (I'm from the UK), Simon wasn't a Londoner was he? If they're related, they're very fucking similar!

Good luck in the future! Found you on PLFM and had to check out your blog.

TTFN

Jess

andiepants said...

Thanks to everyone coming over from PLFM. It is so good to find another venue to tell my story, and I am grateful to weasel for allowing me to get the word out about this assclown!

BTW, Jess--I think Simon's middle name was Richard (named after a relative, maybe?). He did mention that he lived in London for a while, but he told me so many lies I can't keep them all straight now. Is Reid a common last name in England?

Jessickaboop said...

Hey Andie,

Read is, but Reid isn't hence why I mentioned it, was just weird from my end hearing that name lol.

Out of interest... have you had a boyfriend since?

Erin said...

I read your story on PLFM and I have to say that I think he's the biggest dick of all on that site. I'm sorry that you had to deal with him.

andiepants said...

Thank you for the kind words Erin. I agree with you completely! What a sociopath.

Jess, in answer to you question I have been dating, it has been hard, though, to trust any guy who wants to get close. I always think they must have ulterior motives now!

missjessicabunny said...

Yeah I know what you mean, I was with a very abusive man, he did me over for £22,000 and I've had to go bankrupt because of it (I'm 21). That and the physical and emotional damage ensued. People say you need to try and trust, but it's difficult. It's all about power in my opinion, Simon was exerting power over you by doing what he was doing, he was in control and he was the one in charge.

I know what I'd like to do to him for you if I ever see him!

Jesse said...

Andie,

In college my best friend met a guy named Mattio. He was the sweetest, greatest boyfriend. Always called, took her out on romantic dates, became friends with her friends. They dated for a year and a half.

The summer between our junior and senior years, he drove a rig around for the summer. He even adopted a one-eye beagle at a truck stop! (Or else the owners were going to put him down). Say it with me: "awwwwwwww."

Well, he had never taken my friend to meet his parents. She's been his girlfriend for over a year. It was about time. They went, spent the weekend and had a great time. My friend even met his best friend from high school. In a (rare) moment when Mattio left her alone, my friend got his best friend phone number.

Fast forward a month. Mattio is coming home two days before classes start. The last week he was helping his cousin move to California. My friend decides to throw him a coming home/birthday party! It's going to great. They haven't seen each other all summer; she's looking forward to having her boyfriend around again. As an added surprise she invites his high school best friend. The best friend makes the comment "Oh, this will be fun! It'll be a nice time after moving his girlfriend for the week."

My friend pauses "I'm his girlfriend."

"No, his girlfriend lives in North Carolina. Mattio was at her aunt and uncle's all this summer working on the uncle's construction crew."

A year and a freaking half. My friend had no idea. Another of our mutual friends even lived with Mattio and still didn't know he had an out of state girlfriend.

Guys who want to be scum will be scum.

andiepants said...

Wow. I guess it pays to be careful who you trust, but some people are just scary-good liars. I'm sorry your friend had that experience. Did she confront Mattio? I certainly would have told his "real" girlfriend!

Jesse said...

Yep. We had a good 'ol fashioned outing.

My friend invited all his friends over. Then in front of everyone she called him to the carpet. (And his "real" girlfriend was on the phone).

His body language just shrank. Once she outed him, his personality was gone.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you've got this page up and are putting the word out about this jerk, but I don't think it was very kind to call his wife dumb. She's certainly not at fault here, and I don't think that anyone who falls for such a thing is dumb-people like this man simply know exactly what to say to people to make them think what they want them to think.

andiepants said...

Agreed, it was unkind of me to call her dumb. I do feel for her, and I hope for her sake that she has been able to put her life back together and move on since Simon's departure. She seemed like a nice enough woman and she certainly deserves better.

mymultiverse said...

Hi, I came over from PLFM as well and just wanted to congratulate you for getting rid of his sorry ass. Some people are such good liars you can believe their every word and then, after a couple of months, discover you've got a foul apple. I just dumped a similar con artist, only mine was at least not married but merely a playboy. At least, as you correctly stated, we can also gain something from the experience. 500$ in underwear doesn't sound too bad.

mehreenkasana said...

Omg. I am so sorry you ran into that sad motherfucking worm. Men like him ruin the overall image of the rest of the lot.

I used to live in Virginia and I knew this friend who went through the same shit. Some Australian vowed undying love and then disappeared, taking her money along.

It's a sad sad world out there. I sincerely wish you the best of luck next time, Andie.

Take good care. :)

elffire78 said...

Hi Andie, my roommate and I read both your and Weasel's posts and totally feel for you!

I'm a psych major, and while i can't claim to be an expert, I can honestly say with confidence that this douche-bag clearly fits the profile of the DSM-IV criteria for antisocial personality disorder (aka: sociopath).

If you haven't already hear of it, I'd recommend reading "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare --> http://www.amazon.com/Without-Conscience-Disturbing-World-Psychopaths/dp/1572304510

And please don't feel too bad about being duped by this fucker...sociopaths are very apt at lying and manipulating even the best of us - which is why they make such successful con-artists.

andiepants said...

Wow, thank you for the input, elffire78.

I definitely think Simon is suffering from a severe personality disorder, and sociopath sounds about right (based on what I know).

His flaws make him a fascinating character (as well as a complete douche). I'm sure he'll end up in one of my books someday.

elffire78 said...

Not a problem hon. I was required to read the above book for a personality theory class not too long ago, and found it to be a very good read! It even has a “survival guide” at the end, which I believe is very useful. ;)

Even more disturbing is the author’s claim that most individuals are bound to encounter at least one sociopath (or psychopath, which is the same thing) at one point in their lives. I too had the misfortune of knowing one back in boarding school at age 14. This fucker (Judd) was constantly in trouble in school and with the law – and even sexually abused some female students (including my best friend at the time). Thankfully, that douche-bag left me alone for the most part given that he was a racist and my family was stationed in east Africa at the time. He was *finally* expelled for jacking off on his male roommate.

Basically Judd was a somewhat different flavor of sociopath than Simon, but sociopath nonetheless…

Another thing to keep in mind is that sociopaths do not actually “suffer” from their personality disorder – rather every one who encounters them suffers. Essentially, more often than not, such types are extremely self-serving and know perfectly well that what their doing is wrong….they just don’t care.

Meanwhile, I’m very glad you’ve been able to pick yourself back up and move on with your life. Some folks lives are permanently ruined by such individuals, and the fact that you haven’t let it ruin yours goes to show how much of a strong resilient person you are. :)

That said, best of luck to you Andie, and all the best wishes!! :D

elffire78 said...

PS: and best of luck to you on your book. My roommate and I think you're an outstanding writer (right up there with Weasel!) and found your post about Simon to be a very good read (in addition to sympathizing with your disturbing experience of course). Indeed, educating others about people like him is invaluable to any one who reads about your encounter.

Anonymous said...

The saga continues. Man o man. Well Andie, I guess not many do searches for his name. I see Google's got it buried.

I don't wish him ill, for he's reaped his karma 10-fold. It'll come around in the worst possible way.

He also said his father's name was Richard. A supposed Methodist Minister. Grew up in Reading. Definitely a London accent. His mum hailed from Scotland. All of this I'm sure is contrived.

Post the link to your other site Andie, I'd love to read it.

Yours--The Volunteer.

andiepants said...

Please, Volunteer, what did you find on him? You can be as anonymous as you want to be. Post it here or email me so I can have a good laugh. Will share as appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Hey Andie. We've talked live before, so you know all I know. Just sad to see so many others fall for his untraceable song and typical lines to get what he wants...sex and money. Sad indeed.

Please post your other link, I'd love to have a good laugh at his expense!

Take care

Anonymous said...

Found it on your main page. Excellent read. So sad that this man hasn't been incarcerated. Insane in fact.

Take care.

andiepants said...

The website that posted my story is www.psychoticlettersfrommen.blogspot.com

It's a great site, and they did me justice.

Wiwille said...

I'm sorry you had to go through that. With all the blessings that comes with the internet there seem to be many sociopaths that take advantage of those with natures that are good. I've known a few females who've fallen into similar snares. Most are bright women who happened to be the victims of a charming individual with little to no sense of morality. Now, sadly, it'll take years for them to ever even want to trust another man. When guys do this they not only hurt the women. Just saying.

helzie said...

Well, I am representative of the company that was paying for all the construction on the house he showed you in St. Paul. Pretty sure that we paid for your rent, underwear and the wonderful dinners you enjoyed. Guess simonreid.co.uk is not a go, as the other person he did this to in the UK bought it but has done nothing to it. Unfortunately, it will happen again and again until he is dead. You can take that as a threat, Simon.

Anonymous said...

I wandered here from PLFM. While I'm in no way a trained psychologist/psychiatrist, I believe - through a bit of personal experience and research - what you ran into was someone Malignant NPD. Pick your favorite search engine, and be prepared to spend two weeks of your life scraping your jaw off the ground.

or skip that part, and KNOW that you were duped by a master manipulator. You didn't waste 10 years of your life on this POS like Sandra Boss did on her fake Rockefeller. I know too many bright, smart, beautiful women (and a couple of great guys) who have been taken in by someone just like this. Complete with calls from the wife/other girlfriend.

I hope you've found a friend/friends on whom to lean and find your center again.

I think we run into more of these people than one in our lifetimes - and if we were raised in a family with this behavior pattern, we collect them, until we learn to identify them and give them the heave ho.

All the best.

Enseada said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
helzie said...

You need to run as fast as you can, or give me a call. email me on flogbunk@gmail.com. NOW

andiepants said...

Nope, this blog is very much alive.

Hopefully Simon will be caught, tried by a jury comprised of all the people he has wronged, then hung upside down by the testicles until they turn blue, dry up and fall off.

HA!

Good riddance, asshole.

miss uk said...

would love to speak to you as this man is alive and well and still continuing the same pattern!!!

Enseada said...

Hi Miss UK

Please email me urgently on novembernicola@hotmail.co.uk.
I have some very interesting news for you!

oggie said...

Hi to everyone monitoring this blogg that knows Simon Reid and has a greviance - it might be really helpful if you could let yourselves be known NOW with contact details such as an email address - with a bit of luck things might (with your help as well) be about to be happening...

Oggie.....

oggie said...

Reference to above previous message if you would rather contact me in a more discrete way my email address is paulmaryrosehill@tiscali.co.uk

Kelly said...

I think that this is the same Simon that is currently screwing a friend of mine out of thousands of dollars...however he's still around. I need to get more details out of her, but I've directed her to both blogs.

helzie said...

Kelly????

Please contact me on flogbunk@gmail.com

I am really interested because you say the word "dollars" he is a wanted man in England, has he gone to another country? Is he in the USA?? Please contact.

Thanks

Jess

jhdz1@hotmail.es said...

Hey Andy!

I read your story on psychotic letters from men. a looong time ago. Could not believe what a complete twat Simon is. My heart went out to you and the other ladies.

Anyway... I was reading the paper yesterday and came across a story that made me think of your entry!

I think...I THINK, Simon has been caught and jailed. He must be the same simon, I'll send you the link, If it's the same guy, well, karma has done its job...FINALLY!

All the best :)

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/857700-serial-love-cheat-exposed-on-camera-by-girlfriends


PS..if it is the same guy, please let us now !!

andiepants said...

Yep, that's him all right! Stay tuned for details.

I'm so grateful to Weasel for giving me a platform for my story way back when. I can't believe how it's blown up in the UK! Very surreal.

Anonymous said...

Well. I've been pissed off working all day thinking when are woman going to be treated like men? I mean, I work my ass off, I am qualified (over-qualified) and still work twice as hard for status! But after reading this story in the national press and visiting your blog I'm glad to say..."WOMEN RULE"! Let this be a small lesson to gobshites all over the world...if a woman wants to 'screw' you she won't have to open her legs! Now, all of a sudden...I'm glad I'm a woman (even if I do still have to work o/t!!!). Well done 'Andie'. You are pragmatic and your common sense prevailed. Natural talents that can't be bought or taught ( a woman's perogative!). X

Miss War Paint (Nic) said...

Hi Andie...I found your blog after watching a TV show featuring 3 of the women in the UK who have been stung by this pig.

Here's a link to one of the maaaany newspaper articles running here...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/mar/09/conman-jailed-women-hatch-plot

The women involved are coming to the US to tell thier story!

At least this the rat is now in prison!

Anonymous said...

Great article and am going to enjoy watching him being "ambushed" on tonights TV documentary!

Anonymous said...

I like The Smiths quote!

Anonymous said...

Hi!

I've just watched a documentary broadcased in the UK called 'LOVE RAT' and yep you guessed it Simon Reid was the culprit!

I couldnt believe what i was watching.... a miracle you got out when you did, and VERY sorry for the other 3 victims of this horrid man!

BUT! VERY WELL DONE to you all for ousting him in his awful ways...he's where he belongs....behind bars and good riddens too!!

*claps*

Another Anonymous said...

Hello everyone,
I am so sorry you have been through this, I also watched Love Rat and sadly I wasn't shocked. I guess that's what happens when something similar happens to you. I had been going out with a guy who wasn't even that lovely and nice (but i guess I was making the compromises because i didn't believe anybody's perfect) who happened to be a compulsive liar. It's sad i believed so many lies, some of them involved girls, others just friends or family..lies that i don't know where that guy thought were taking him...all I know is disappointment, all i know is i probably will find it difficult to trust anyone else...i know what is like to live in devastation and pain and fear... just to say i am 22 and i am so sorry for all that happened. It is not about being dumb or naive, it is about the trust that you put in someone new when you meet them first. And it is about the pain and fear that stays even when it is all over... And these ridiculous compulsive liars, love rats or whatever always manage to make us feel bad and guilty, and all they say is "it will all be okay, stop playing like you are being a victim", they don't have hearts, they don't feel empathy, they don't feel guilt..they live in their fantasy world and act like nothing has happened because it's easier for them to just forget what they have done to someone else...

Anonymous said...

Wow, your list of prizes is pathetic. How about not continuing to support the idea that a woman is not a woman unless she's being bought by a man. And a loser man at that. I'd rather be single until I die.

andiepants said...

Heh.

Well Anonymous, I wish you all the best in your quest for non-pathetic "prizes". As for being single--yeah, there are pros and cons to singledom, just as there are pros and cons to staying in a committed relationship. I have found it best to keep an open mind and not close yourself off to the opportunities that life presents.

Thanks for watching the show!

Namaste.

sosolobi said...

Tonight I've seen your story on Investigation Discovery. Shocking. Good thing that he was exposed (thanks to your blog) by the other ladies in the UK. He looked like a mouse caught in a trap. I have NO idea why he didn't run out of the house...
30 months for his betrayal... he should get 5 years at least. I wonder if he will every change...

News@LandlordReferencing,co.uk said...

Looks like Mr Reid is at it again; http://www.landlordreferencing.co.uk/blog/2013/10/31/666-the-number-of-the-beast-lrs-halloween-exclusive-terrifyingtenanttales/
This time ripping off landlords, neighbours and elderly couples.
And who lies about their mother dieing?! SHAMEFUL.

Shawna Seals said...

Watching your story on the I.D. Channel. Hope your feeling better and finding a way better man than Simon. (:

Anonymous said...

Andie! I was closing out my old email account and saw our exchanges back in 2008. Wowowowow. Amazing what turns this story took. Way to follow through. Hoping that he's extradited. Wonder why his wife was never mentioned